End result:
Dear Jill,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg In your car and I saw you Drive over My father. I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep The results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard. and you should stop picking your nose.
Go drown yourself,
Katie
HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1